more sighs…

Things have a habit of NOT working out. Everything one plans just goes in for a toss, and you’re left feeling and behaving like the world’s top-order jerk- disbelieving your life and left to laugh only at yourself. I agree I was an idiot, that I wanted quantity more than quality, that I wanted to prove that I could have the best birthday parties…but now I am wishing I could’ve just celebrated it simply, received phone-calls from friends and spent my time at home, reading, watching movies, and simply enjoying time for myself…but you know what, THAT IS WHAT I DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, SO WHY REPEAT IT FOR MY BIRTHDAY? I thought I’d do a nice little party with my close friends, have fun, talk… and now half the people I really REALLY wanted to come are cancelling out. Well…this is what happens when one dreams big- she falls down.

I’m getting vivid dreams of people coming and telling me they can’t make it to my party, of me running around missing people’s birthdays, of me missing trains… why do birthday dreams have to be nightmares?

As people say…those who turn up in the end are the right people, whoever they are…and those are the ones that are my true friends. Others- just go burn in hell. I mean, that’s really rude of me to say that, I know people must be having exams and problems of their own and why travel all the way to Nashik just for some bloody birthday party that’s sure to be ultra-boring? Well, frankly, if you think that way, do not come. Others…mostly Tanvi and Jayati, I’m going to miss you both a lot, and I really want you to be there and I know you both want to come too, but well, you can’t, and I understand. I really do. Its just that…I REALLY REALLY will miss you both, a hell lot.

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