friendships and more ~

These are some thoughts that came into my mind…felt like writing them down, don’t worry if they are too random or abstact or whiny or just plain depresseing. I really wanted to be more articulate about this topic, but I guess it didn’t turn out like I wanted it to. Well whatever, enjoy!

About crushes…you may be knowing, I am the sort of person who gets these random crushes on the random-est of people, most of them either being fictional characters or celebrities…my first HUGE  one was on Elijah Wood, the actor who portrays the character of Frodo the Hobbit in the Lord of the Rings. It was a long crush, lasted for about two years and a half until I found out that Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter in the films) looks exactly like him and is actually much younger, richer and cuter! So well… Dan Radcliffe it was. My ideal man still remains to this day a cross between Gilbert Blythe and Ron Weasley, the former as well, he’s the most perfect guy anyone could’ve asked for and Ron, just so because I think I am a little like Hermione (well, yeah!)
Currently it’s this actor named Shahid Kapoor (being closer home and after watching his amazing performance and looks in Jab We Met). You may think I am this crazy girl who’s main interest in life is finding the ideal man (I think so too, sometimes) but if the last year has taught me anything about romance and such…I would say that I think friendship and being friends is much more important that ‘dating’. Even Hermione Granger, her moment of ‘growing-up’ in Deathly Hallows was when she had to choose between whether she wanted to stick with Ron or with Harry… and she, being who she is, chose friendship and the task given by Dumbledore over her love and the flighty  fancies of the guy concerned. Coming back to reality, its something I have been debating with myself and everyone else since the time I came to realise these whole new dynamics with the male species. I do think love is a very beautiful thing, and having crushes is really fun, especially when you’re in a giggly mood and with really giggly girls, but then, more than any other relationship in the world, I think friendship is “ze moste Supreme”. Friendship is, in the end, love…but it doesn’t have any awkwardness or embarrassment. One can be whoever one wants if you’re with friends who understand you and who let you be whoever you are…and whoever you want to be. And maybe then, from a certain friendship, can love blossom… spreading its scent lightly, slowly, deliberately… without trying to prove to anyone the logic and reason behind it…It has been said very beautifully in one of the books of the Anne of Green Gables series, that-

“Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music…perhaps…love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath…”

I have no idea why I am writing all this, you may think I’m just making a fool of myself quoting stuff that I don’t even understand, but then, its true… I’m 16 and once you’re of a certain age the other sex is of a new importance in your life, but then hell, should you jeopardise the beautiful bond of friendship just because you MAY have a crush on someone? Or is it really jeopardising? We are at this stage where we do get crushes and are attracted people, but then to take that to a different level, to acknowledge this attraction and ‘start going out’, as people say, is it really worth? We may just end up realising that it is not working out, we may fight, break up, and then we’re too embarrassed even to look at that person… this is not something that I want. After all, I just want friends, as you know, in the sitcom of the same name, Ross and Rachel, or even Rachel and Joey go through many different layers of um.. intimacy (?) but in the end, still are friends, no matter what they feel. That’s all I want, really. I find it really hard when people do this whole ‘going out’ act and then most predictably, break up and don’t even want to acknowledge the fact that they even knew each other. Well, that’s something that makes me so uncomfortable and weird…
Well…love…for me is a sort of balance, where you love a person the most who balances you, who’s strengths match those of yours and in turn strengthen them, while who’s weaknesses are in contrast with yours so that they erase each other out. But most important of all is the underlying thread of friendship and comradeship that helps understanding each other, laughing with (not AT!) each other and just being who you are, no matter what anyone else thinks. Though the hard part is finding someone like that… and the people who have found theirs should consider themselves very very lucky indeed. Others, like me…hmmmm, are still searching…

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